Worry is a Waste

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Energy, joy and happiness, life is precious, new thoughts, precious life, Trust (Mini Anthology), waste of energy, Worry

Life is precious, don’t you agree? Even if we went no further than our solar system, we could see how Earth’s humans are something special. Too many of us have no idea what to make of this life, and never stop long enough to find out what this precious life is all about. We make our daily decisions based on what we see and hear around us. The sad part of this is that most of our beliefs come from TV, media, commercialism and the like. So we end up with going down the same path as people around us, spending a lot of time with the worry that we’ll be left behind if we don’t keep up. We believe our survival and happiness depend on it.

What if I told you there was no need to worry. Worry can be an addiction. We worry because we think it will help our situation; perhaps the more we worry the more important the situation we worry about is to us.  Worry is an unproductive waste of time and energy. It takes up the “space” we can be using for other thoughts. So is conflict. At first conflict points to where a new action needs to be taken. Then it can be a good thing. However, long term conflicts are just a waste of energy.

Each of us is in a position to do something for our communities, our families and the world around us that no one else can do. What if we let go of these unproductive energies of worry and conflict and find a way to tap into the strengths that are in each one of us. Get acquainted with the feeling, practice focusing on it and trust that this is who you really are. Before you know it, new thoughts and ideas will lead you to using your time and energy productively leading you to a better health, joy and happiness.

The Power of Gratitude

Albert Einstein is noted as having said…..“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is miracle.”

 So how might a person accomplish such a mindset that everything is a miracle? Perhaps Gratitude is the key. What better time than now, at Thanksgiving, to take a look at being grateful.

 Gratitude is not simply a way of acknowledging the wonderful things we’ve been given, it is also recognition of goodness that exists under even the worst that life offers. During that first year that the Pilgrims came to the New World, only three families didn’t have to bury a husband, wife, or child. Yet they all made it important to pause and reflect not only on the survival from their heartbreaks, but for their friendships, their strengths, what they learned, their bounties, what they did have and what they accomplished.  The Pilgrims had learned to give thanks by following the example of others before them. Gratitude played a part in many religious traditions, and had been a topic for philosophers and writers throughout the ages… all for good reason.

Today, gratitude takes center stage in the new science of Positive Psychology. In several of our universities it is being looked at, tested and studied. One common thing we all share as human beings is the desire for joy and happiness and many thinkers believe that gratitude is the key that opens the door to the riches of life.

 Some good news is…Gratitude can be developed and practiced. On my own life’s quest I’m learning how to deepen my sense of gratitude by realizing that everything that’s ever happened to me, the easy and the rough times has contributed to what I am now. Even though I didn’t notice it at the time, each has given me a different gift, taught me lessons and made me a better person.  You might want to try this exercise yourself. Set aside an hour or so and write down a list of significant events and relationships in your past. Include the ones that hurt you, the ones you never wanted to look at again as well as what I call your “Diamond Moments,” the ones you hold dear or sacred to you.  Then note the good that came from each one of them. If you look hard enough you’ll find that each made you stronger, wiser, more humble, more of something or less of something else. Perhaps someone or something set you off on a whole new, better but unplanned course in life.  When you’re done with this exercise you’ll see blessings that you never noticed before.

 Keeping a gratitude journal each night before turning in is another practice that produces results. With each entry write down 5 things that you can find to be grateful for that day. Find the goodness in your life as well as gifts and benefits that you received. The more focus you put on the good the more it will appear.  Trace back to the source of that goodness and there you’ll see your dependence on others. Have you ever noticed that Grateful people are also very humble? By continuing to add to your list each night you’ll be creating a habit of gratitude which will lead you to finding more openness in yourself and more joy within each day. And as an extra bonus… happiness brings success.. rather than the other way around.

 So gratitude offers us more appreciation for life. It leads us to finding goodness, joy, and happiness and it opens the door for miracles to walk in.  

Take the Best and Leave the Rest

Our dog Bandor was an interesting being. He would eat what he liked out of his dish and leave everything else. It amazed me how he could scarf down a whole bowl of food, but there at the bottom he’d leave just the peas…. Little, clean, round peas. If we’d offered him a cracker he would look at us like we were crazy. When peanut butter was on it, he’d gratefully take the treat, lick off the peanut butter and leave the rest of the cracker completely whole.

Take in what’s good for you in life by listening to your inner knowing. We’re not required to take on situations that we can’t digest. They cause us to contract.  We’re much better off choosing the experiences that expand us and help us grow.

Even our mentors, teachers and experts will offer wisdom. They may present ideas you will benefit from  as well as ideas you don’t agree with or wish to consider. Take the best and leave the rest.

We don’t come into life with a full set of operating instructions but we are given some tools, our emotions.  The negative emotions such as anger, guilt, sadness, or distrust, merely mean that something is not right. Imagine them yellow or red lights…slow down and figure out what’s going on.  On the other hand, the positive feelings like gratefulness, confidence, joy, hope and adventure are the green arrows that are pointing out the way.

Learn how to tune in and connect with your heart.   Follow your bliss and you’re on the road to happiness.

                      

 

 

Finding Your Purpose in Life

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Coaching, Purpose

Many people are working a job, raising their families and leading a life that just happened to them wondering if there is more to our world they just aren’t seeing. Left unresolved it might even lead to bitterness and a resentfulness or even depression. I used to be confused about my life’s purpose. I had a good job and I worked hard but something felt like it was missing.  Down deep I wondered if I would ever find a career that gave me the feeling of satisfaction that I saw in others.

Our educational system and our society overlooks the importance of some very valuable lessons. Luckily for me I found my own answers when I began training for a new career, life coaching. I found my purpose; something we all have. I got ideas from books on the subject, the internet, workshops and most helpful of all, my own personal life coach. In a nutshell, your life’s purpose is what makes you happy, and what makes you happy is something that comes easy to you and makes you want to come back for more.  There is nothing else to it but that.

We’re all made up differently because of a number of factors, like genetics and life experiences. We all have different values, strengths and gifts. These all factor in, along with a few more ingredients, to make us who we are with a purpose to share with others.

Don’t go to your grave with your song unsung. Live your life from knowing your purpose.  It makes a world of difference.

You Are the Genie so……What do you want?

Tags

changing behavior, Current Time, goal setting, leadership development, life change, personal growth, Time Management, transformation

Have you thought about what you want…no, not what you think you can have, I mean what you really want. …

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Fake It Till You Make It

       What do you think about this strategy?

You bring about what you believe to be true. Yet often there’s a tug-of-war that goes on in a mind when trying to believe what they desire is already in the making when physically there isn’t any evidence. However, this belief is critical in order to actually see the desire into physical reality. Any doubts will block the outcome.

So here’s a tip. Believe that what you want to create is happening in the dimensions of your mind. Live with the feeling and emotions, as if what you want is already in the making. (There’s a difference between creating a feeling and actually taking action on stuff you are not yet for.) Eventually, you will see a positive outcome.  ”OK… I can do that.”

The Pretender

It’s not uncommon for  professional women to go to work each day with the fear of being found out. Their secret worry is that they are not intelligent and as strong as others think. These women (and sometimes men, but mostly women) fear being unmasked for who they really are and this fear robs them of confidence and energy resulting in lost promotions, a sense of isolation, lack of self confidence and need of external validation.  Sometimes this is called “The Imposter Syndrome.”  It partly results because of the natural way women respond to situations in life and partly due to our culture. Here are two examples that I think will surprise you.

 

“You think, ‘Why would anyone want to see me again in a movie?” And, “I don’t know how to act anyway, so why am I doing this?” ~ Meryl Streep

 

“I have written eleven books but each time I think, “Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everyone, and they’re going to find me out.” ~ Maya Angelou

 

 

As coaches, we know that change happens from the inside out. If we conquer limiting beliefs and behaviors while focusing on actual, measurable achievements, desirable changes will  begin to happen.  We are all capable of having the best in life. There are Infinite Possibilities available to each of us.

 

Goals and Intentions

Have you ever set a goal for yourself and not been able to muscle up the energy to attain the goal? If so you’re not alone. Some people I spoke with have even said they had the same goal for  years without yet reaching it. It’s not that the goal is not important enough to them or they lack willpower or suffer from laziness. The real holdup has to do with not setting a clear intention, then focusing on that intention rather than the goal.

Let me clarify. Intentions and goals are two separate things yet but both part of the same change creation process. Intentions describe the passion or purpose behind and act or desired change. It serves your greater purpose and is a very personal idea. Optimally your intention should be in alignment with your priorities, your values, and your standards. It guides towards the reality you are aiming for. Example: I want to optimize my health so I can enjoy my life to the max.

 

Goals are a series of steps required to complete either a larger goal or an intention. They can be short or long term. Goals help us move towards our set intention and can be changed, refined, eliminated and reestablished if not working.

Think about them as the map to get to your end destination.

(your intention ) Sometimes we even change our course (goals) and still end up where we want to go. Example:

I want to loose 30 pounds.

 

Don’t get hung up by focusing on the goal rather than the intention. You need to balance both. Intentions are where your energies lie. They are the “juice” to make changes. The stronger, more intentional we are the surer we are to reach our dreams.

ps. If you need help stating your intentions, setting goals and being accountable for what you want to do…call a coach. I know two excellent ones:)

Build Trust

People want to do business with people they trust, whether it is buying a car or a million dollar piece of real estate. Trust is fast and speeds up the results of interactions where mistrust clogs up the works. Trust is essential to success. Companies spend tons of advertising money building credence. High trust results in high speed and low cost. Low trust results in high cost because of the slow speed.

 

Recently I read an interesting example of just how powerful trust can be. In Robert K.Cooper and Ayman Sawaf’s book, Executive EQ, a story is told of how the CEO and chairman of a $700 million dollar maintenance organization accepted a proposal for a massive reorganization of his company when it was presented to him by the company’s trusted executive vice president. The decision was made on the spot and based on a mere three page summary of the proposal. It took only four minutes.

 

Given the state of affairs in the world and our global economy there is no better time to build trust between people than now. Trust can be built, its components can be analyzed but it ultimately starts with the trust we have in ourselves; regardless of how others perform it still starts with ourselves. Are you surprised? Consider this for a moment. How much can you depend on yourself to keep your word to yourself? Have you ever had an extra helping when you promised yourself you’d cut down on your portion size? Have you made a New Year’s resolution only to break it later on? How about exercising? How about completing tasks at work or at home that you’d rather not do but need to be done? Each time we break our word to ourselves we wear away at our own self-trust which affects our self confidence. Begin today. Make one new commitment and keep it as if your life depended on it. Enjoy the exponential differences it will make in your life when you strengthen the trust you have in yourself.

 

Time is On My Side

What would you do with more time if one day you woke up and found that the Earth’s rotation had …

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